so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
