420 ftw
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
