Welp...herpes.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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