My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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