I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
