please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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