I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
