the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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