bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
