i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
