try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
