oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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