I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
