yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
please come you make the beer taste better
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
