You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
