I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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