i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
