Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
