i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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