Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
