She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
