Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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