Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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