barbara walters just said penis...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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