I am in a vortex of obligation.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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