What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
