suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
FUCK WHALES
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
