Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
