i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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