Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
