I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
