bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize