they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
