Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
