Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
