he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
