All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
