this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
