He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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