# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
