i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
