I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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