i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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