It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
