In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
