she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
