you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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