Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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