ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
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