Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Damn victory sex feels great
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
