i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
