would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
