that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
